After I made the post a former college professor of mine sent me the following message:
"hi, natalie. i hope you and your family are doing well. first off, i want to apologize if this message is difficult or hurts you in any way...i debated with myself and consulted with a few close friends about whether or not i should write it and send it, and everyone told me that i should, because if they were in your shoes, they would want to know. so if i made the wrong decision, please feel free to block me and never speak to me again. i will understand.
so, a few nights ago i had a dream and you and your family were in it! i was back in manhattan and i was meeting a friend for dinner at a restaurant (don't know which one it was), and i was walking toward the back of the restaurant and i walked past you and your family sitting at a table to my right--you and your brother were sitting on one side, and your parents were sitting across from the two of you. i said hi to you, and you said hi back to me, and you introduced me to your family (since, of course, i've only seen them in facebook photos that pop up in my newsfeed occasionally!). i said, "oh, but i thought robby was...?" you patted his hand and said, "he is. he just came back for a little while to let us know he's okay." and then i woke up.
like i said, i debated about whether or not i should message you, because how creepy is this, and old college teacher messaging you out of nowhere to say she had a dream about your family? i get how nuts that is. and at first i decided not to say anything to you, but when i saw your beautiful blog post about your thoughts about robby and dreams, i got the chills and i felt like i had to say something to you. again, no hard feelings whatsoever if you decide i am nuts and want to delete and block me. all my love to you and your parents. i can't begin to fathom your pain and grief, but you guys are frequently in my prayers."
I'm sharing this simply because I can't wrap my head around how odd this is. Not in a way that I am creeped out, but in way that I wonder if maybe this Robby's way of trying to reach out to me?
My mom has told me before that I might not receive the messages I want from Robby because I keep my heart closed. I am a believer in God, but I'm also pig headed and a very concrete thinker. I would love to be wrong about what I said about not believing in dreams from our loved ones. It's hard to think of a reason why she would have this particular dream right before I made a decision not to believe in Robby.
I cried reading what she wrote. I'm so incredibly wowed by the message I received from her. She was a great professor and I respect her greatly, but we aren't particularly close. It seems that maybe God found someone who I would realize had no ulterior motive and who wouldn't just have Robby on the subconscious (which is what I attributed my dreams to).
It seems that sometimes God doesn't knock on the door so much as he does knock down the door.
All I can say is that I am just floored. Feeling like I might be wrong hasn't ever felt so good.
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